Disney Movies: Teen titans style!
by SweetSweetAura
Summary: What happens when the titans act out disney movies? Read and laugh your head off. UPDATE! Wow how did that happen? *EDITED*
1. Cinderella

**Disney dramas: Teen Titans style!**

**Author's note: Muahaha it's me again just now I'm writing humor instead of romance. It's my first try at this so if it makes your eyes bleed don't come after me.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans or there would be 300 seasons.**

Chapter 1: Cinderella

Cinderella: Raven

Prince Charming: Robin

Evil stepmother: Starfire

The 2 ugly stepsisters: Cyborg and Beastboy

King and Queen: The Brain and Slade

Fairy Godmother: Control Freak

* * *

Raven: Wait! Why am I Cinderella?

Evil author a.k.a. me: Good question. Apparently when thinking of this story I had consumed too much sugar and was feeling high.

Cyborg: Oh. Is that why I'm AN EVIL STEPSISTER?

Moi: Deal with it. Robin seems to be taking it just fine.

Beastboy: Maybe that's because he has a GUY character?

Me: Whatever. Let the story begin!

Raven: I hate you so much right now.

* * *

"Oh Cinderella! Wakey wakey! It's morning already! Get up sleepy head!" The evil stepmother giggled as she burst through the room.

* * *

Beastboy: CUT!

Me: Hey you can't yell cut, only I can. I'm the author.

Beastboy: Yeah. Whatever. Isn't Star supposed to be evil?

Raven: She is. Look what she made me wear. (points to fluffy pink dress with pink satin ribbons on it)

Robin: …

Beastboy: I rest my case.

* * *

"CINDERELLA!" The evil stepmother screeched looking all over for Cinderella.

"Please don't find me. Please don't find me. Please don't-" Raven begged silently, while hiding in the closet.

"There you are Cindy! I've been looking all over for you!" The "evil" stepmother bounced up and down eagerly, "I need you to-"

"Don't call me Cindy. That sounds horribly peppy," Raven scowled, getting up and dusting herself. "What is it now? Did the stupid cat jump inside the dryer again?"

"No Cindy!" Her stepmother replied, giggling. "Your sisters have been calling for you!"

"Interesting. Now if you don't mind I'm going back in to hide-"

"Oh no you don't! Go! Spend some quality time with your beloved sisters!"

"Somehow I'm glad I'm not related to you."

Reluctantly Cinderella dragged herself to the couch where her sisters were playing some retarded game which involved zombie cows. You don't want to know the rest. Trust me.

"What is it sisters? Why did you call me?" Cinderella sighed.

"Cindy! You're here! We're hungry! Cook something for us!" They chimed eagerly.

"What do you want? Tell me so I can cook it and get on with my life," Cinderella groaned.

"I want tofu waffles!" Her first sister shrieked.

"Eww! Tofu is gross man! I want meat! Three deluxe beef hamburgers please!" Her other sister yelled.

"What? Tofu is not gross! I'm a vegetarian! I'm not going to sit here and play video games with you while you devour a once alive animal!"

"Well TOO bad cause I love meat and there's nothing you can do about it."

"No way! Tofu is SO much better than meat!"

"MEAT!"

"TOFU!"

"MEAT!"

"TOFU!"

"MEAT!"

"TOFU!"

Just then the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Cinderella rushed to the door to get away from her maniac siblings.

"I'll pay you five bucks if you please shoot me now," She pleaded with the messenger.

"Err… sorry I can't do that," The startled messenger replied.

"Whatever. Then why are you here?"

"The King and Queen are inviting everyone to their son, Prince Charming's ball! In this ball, he will choose out of the many beautiful ladies in the kingdom to be his bride. Here is you invitation," The messenger chirped.

"Thank you. Goodbye." Cinderella slammed the door.

"Cindy! Did I hear correctly? Did we all get invited to the ball?" Her stepmother's high pitch voice echoed throughout the house.

"Yeah. It's tonight. Oh well. I'm not going. Have fun," Cinderella said as she thought of the glorious hours without her horrible peppy family around.

"Oh no you don't. You are coming whether you like it or not! And if you don't, I'll mass email the photos of you in that pink fluffy dress I made you wear to everyone in the world!" Her stepmother said, holding up photos of Cinderella wearing that bright pink fluffy dress that made her resemble the easter bunny.

"You wouldn't!" gasped Cinderella.

"Watch me," her stepmother said, with an evil grin on her face.

Anyway, to cut the long story short, Cinderella reluctantly went to the ball, sulking. However, she did catch the eye of a handsome prince.

* * *

Robin: Wait WHAT?

Raven: Oh you have got to be kidding me-

Me: JUST FOLLOW THE SCRIPT!

Raven: (scowls)

* * *

"Who is that girl, clad in black? She looks SO beautiful," Prince Charming said sarcastically, just reading off his script, despite the hardworking author's efforts. Sigh.

"My fair maiden. Would you like to dance with me?" The prince asked monotonously.

"Can I say no?" Cinderella replied, not caring at all.

"Apparently not. Look to your left," he replied.

Her eyes widened when she saw the evil author (muahaha) and her evil stepmother holding up pictures of her in pink.

"Let's dance," Cinderella said quickly.

And after 10 minutes of dancing the Prince found that she was irresistible and had to go introduce her to his parents.

"Who have you got there son? Ooohh is it one of your lady friends?" the Prince's mother chirped happily.

"Yeah. Mom Dad meet Cinderella. Cinderella meet mom dad," Prince Charming said.

"Nice to meet you Cinderella! By the way, do you like my new dress? It is very pretty right?" Giggling the queen twirled around like some retarded fairy princess.

Meanwhile somewhere backstage an evil author was laughing her head off.

"Hello Cinderella. Welcome. Since you are an acquaintance of my son I shall inform you of my plans to take over the world. First we will attack Antarctica. The penguins will be caught of guard. Ha-ha," the King told Cinderella.

"I'll shoot you if you'll shoot me," Cinderella glanced at Prince Charming.

"This way," the prince replied, guiding her to the weaponry safe.

Just then, the clock struck 12.

"Oh no. I have to go. It is 12 and I must return home to do something completely pointless," Cinderella said.

Alas, the prince could not bear to see her go, and chased after her.

"Come back. Please. Ahh. Don't leave."

However, Cinderella could not stand talking to Prince Charming anymore and threw her shoe at him to get him to shut up. She missed though, and it hit…

"NOOOO! My beautiful pink dress is ruined! Ahh!" The queen screamed and ran to her room crying uncontrollably.

Well anyway, after Cinderella had dirtied the Queen's dress she was banished to Antarctica where she spent the rest of her life making playgrounds for stupid penguins which eventually died because of the King's attack. The End.

* * *

**Well I hoped you enjoyed that, I will be doing another story. Please review! Thanks!**

Control Freak: Wait what about me? I wasn't in your story!

Me: Well sorry but if people were to see your outfit the rating would go up… by a lot.

Control Freak: What's wrong with my clothes? (looks down at his tube top and miniskirt)

Slade: How cute! I want it! (giggles)

Raven: My eyes! My eyes! (screams)


	2. Sleeping Beauty

**Author's note: I'm back with another story! Yeah! This time it's sleeping beauty! Enjoy! And sorry I haven't updated in a while. There was something wrong with the document manager.'**

Chapter 2: Sleeping Beauty

Princess Aurora: Starfire

Prince Philip: Robin

1st fairy/Flora(s): Mas y Menos

2nd fairy/Fauna: Gizmo

3rd fairy/Merryweather: Beastboy

Evil fairy/Maleficent: Blackfire

Spindle: Slade

Prince Philip: Red X

King: Cyborg

Queen: Raven

* * *

This is gonna be so fun.

Robin: WAIT! Why are there two princes?

Me: Hmm. Must have assigned 2 princes. Oh well. Settle it among yourselves! (cackles)

Red X: Hey birdboy I'm the prince that's going to kiss the princess so you can just run along and play with your stuffed toys.

Robin: No way! I am NOT going to let you touch Star!

Me: Quiet! Let the story begin!

Raven: God help us all.

* * *

Once upon a time, in a kingdom far far away, there lived a king and queen who had just gotten a new baby, Princess Aurora. They invited countless people to their palace to celebrate, as well as 3 fairies to bless their newborn.

"¡Bendecimos a esta chica con la belleza y la gracia, tanto que cada chico la querrá el momento ellos la ven!" the first fairy, Flora chirped quickly, running around the room like the mad idiots they are.

"What did they say?" The queen asked, stunned.

"They said they bless the princess with beauty and grace, blah blah blah, and every guy will fall for her. Something like that," the second fairy, Fauna grunted.

"Booyah! Next one!" The king jumped up and down eagerly.

"I bless your child with intelligence, so she will be smart and stuff," Fauna said, not caring much.

"Whatever. Next," the queen said.

"I bless your child with-" the 3rd fairy started but was interrupted.

(Cue flashing thunder and spooky music)

"Muahaha! The great witch, Maleficent has arrived!" Maleficent cackled as she appeared before the king and queen.

"Gasp! It is that horrible witch person Maleficent!" The King said, shocked.

"Hence the lame introduction," the Queen sighed.

"My dear Queen and King. Why, may I ask, was I not invited to this glorious celebration?" Maleficent asked, with an evil yet irritated smirk on her face.

"You! You are an evil witch, and no evil witch is gonna touch my daughter!" The king shouted.

"As if you can stop me. But since you did not invite me, I shall put a curse on your beloved princess! Muahaha! I am so evil," Maleficent said wickedly.

Everyone in the room gasped.

"That's right! When Princess Aurora turns sixteen, she will prick her finger on a spindle and instantly die! Wahaha! I love my job," Maleficent said, then vanishing into a puff of black smoke.

Meanwhile the king seemed to be taking the news quite well.

"WAHH! Our beloved daughter is going to die when she hits sixteen! Noo!" The very sad king wailed.

"¡Ah no¿Qué haremos nosotros?" Flora panicked.

"My king, do not fret, for I, Merryweather, have not granted a blessing upon your daughter," Merryweather chirped.

"Oh yeah. Yay!"

"When Princess Aurora hits sixteen, she will prick her finger on a spindle, but she will not die. Instead, she will fall into a deep sleep and only wake up when her true love kisses her."

* * *

Meanwhile, backstage.

Robin: I am the prince!

Red X: No I am!

Robin: You cannot be the prince! I am the one playing the role!

Red X: No I am birdboy!

* * *

However, the king and queen were still afraid of the curse and passed a law to ban all spinning wheel things from the land. They also placed Aurora in the care of the fairies, and she lived in a small cottage in the woods. Aurora did not know who she really was, or anything about her parents, and she was know as Briar Rose.

Sixteen years later…

"Lalala. It is such a joy to live a carefree life in the woods, surrounded by my animal friends!" Briar Rose giggled.

Walking through the forest, well more like jumping around happily, she spotted a person out of a corner of her eye.

"Strange. I shall see who that person may be."

She skipped to where he was and chirped, "Hiya! I'm Briar Rose, who are you?"

"Greetings my lady. How pleasant to meet you," the man replied.

* * *

Me: So you finally decided who was going to be the prince, X?

Red X: Yes. Me. As I recall, Birdboy said, " Oh no! You must be the prince! I cannot for I am FAR less greater and handsomer than you! Go ahead!" So here I am.

Me: Are you sure he said that? (points to gagged and bound Robin in the corner)

Red X: (pauses) I may have rephrased it a little.

* * *

Anyway, Philip and Briar Rose got to know each other better and soon they fell in love. However, Briar Rose's happiness was short-lived when the fairies told her about her real name and birthright.

"I WHAT?"

"Quiet down Briar Rose. You heard us correctly. You are Princess Aurora, the daughter of the King and Queen, and the one destined to marry Prince Philip," Merryweather told her.

"But I don't want to be the princess. I met this TOTALLY HOT guy in the woods and-"

"Sorry Aurora, but you have no choice,"

Aurora was sad because she thought she would have to marry someone she did not love. Aww. So on her sixteen birthday, she went wandering in the woods and found some random house which she had never seen before. Filled with curiousity, she went in.

To her surprise all that was in there was a spindle. However, this was an enchanted spindle set up by Maleficent to try and kill Aurora. In other words, it could talk.

"Muahaha. Hello Aurora. Come here. Touch me, the spindle, and I will make you my apprentice! I mean you will die and stuff," the evil spindle cackled.

"What a queer object that talks. This object says I will die when I touch it? Hmm. Then I better not," Aurora said, walking towards the door.

"WAIT! Don't go yet! Haha I was kidding about the dying thing. Hehe. I meant that if you touch me you can have all the mustard you can eat!" The spindle tried to convince Aurora.

"Really? Cool," Aurora said, bending forward to touch the spindle stupidly.

She touched it, and immediately felt dizzy, and just as Merryweather had said, she fell into a deep sleep.

The whole kingdom was sad knowing that the princess had been struck with the curse. Also, Maleficent had been turned into a huge giant lizard that spewed out fire to all who tried to wake the princess.

* * *

Blackfire: I'm a dragon you imbecile! Not a lizard!

Me: Fine. Whatever.

* * *

Many a prince came, but none of them could wake Aurora or kill the dragon. Until…

2 months later, a strange visitor had arrived to the palace.

"I have come to free the princess from her enchanted sleep," Prince Philip said as he galloped on his horse towards the palace.

However, his journey was interrupted by a certain fire-breathing lizard.

* * *

Blackfire: Dragon!

Me: I'm the author here! Just follow the script!"

* * *

"Who goes there, that dares to try and get past me?" Maleficent boomed.

"Me! Prince Philip! And I gotta say. You have very bad breath," the prince smirked.

"Why you little…" Maleficent roared, and spewed fire out of its mouth, trying to burn Prince Philip.

Maleficent was too slow though, and Prince Philip had already jumped up and whacked the back of its head with his sword.

Needless to say, after many countless attacks, Prince Philip had slayed the dragon and was going to meet the princess.

He saw the princess asleep on the bed, ever so peaceful. He bent down to kiss her and free her from the trance.

"STOP!" A certain familiar voice shouted to the prince. It was… ROBIN?

"Dude why are you here you're messing up the whole story," Red X groaned.

"You! You bound and gagged me and now you're trying to steal a kiss from Star? No way man I'm the prince!" Robin shouted angrily.

"Whatever man. Anyway I'm not stealing a kiss, as you say. I am the prince. Watch me," Red X said as he bent down to kiss the princess.

"Over my dead body!" Robin yelled as he attacked Red X.

"That can be arranged," Red X replied coldly.

They started arguing pointlessly and even after the author went to get some popcorn they were still arguing. Until…

"QUIET! You guys have been making so much noise that you woke me up!"

The 'princes' turned and saw the princess sitting up, looking irritated with a scowl on her face. However, the princess was not Starfire, it was…

"KITTEN?" They both yelled in unison, shocked.

"Yes it's me. I told Starfire there was a mustard convention all the way in Mexico so I could be the princess," Kitten said, ignoring the stunned looks on the 'princes' faces. She points to screen where it shows Starfire in Mexico wearing a huge sombrero and chugging down all the mustard there was.

"Now. Who is my prince?" Kitten screeched in her usual high pitched irritating voice.

"He is," they both said in unison again, pointing to each other.

"Come here both of you!" Kitten shrieked and made kissy-faces.

"AHH! Run!" The 'princes' yelled and fled.

Well. How interesting. The story ends this way. Kitten ended up chasing after both of them, screaming Robbie poo and Red X every five seconds, until Starfire came back and blasted them all with mustard. The end. Oh yeah. And the lizard was captured and put in a zoo where everyday it was pelted with peanuts by small bratty children.

* * *

**Well I hoped you liked that. Review or Starfire will blast you with mustard. Oh and I directly translated the Spanish from English. So it may be not entirely correct. Whoopee.**

Blackfire: Dragon! Not lizard! (growls)


	3. Mulan

EVIL BEWARE, WE HAVE UPDATE.

Chapter 3: Mulan

Mulan: Beastboy

Friend No.1: Raven

Friend No.2: Jinx

Friend No. 3: Terra

General: Starfire

Father: Cyborg

Mother: Robin

Dragon: Slade

Cricket: Trigon

Horse: Blackfire

Hun Army: Billy Numerous

* * *

Beastboy: Dude! I can't be Mulan! I'm a guy! If I'm her then I'll be a guy pretending to be a girl to be a guy!

Raven: Well, at least this time my role is relatively normal.

Jinx: Think again. (points to Terra still stuck in a rock)

Raven: …

Jinx: …

Terra: …

Trigon: Well at least you're not a cricket! (twitches feelers in his cricket costume)

Beastboy: Dude! (laughing) And I thought my role was bad.

Trigon: SILENCE MORTAL! (roars)

Beastboy: MEEP (hides behind statue of Terra)

Me: (comes out and zaps everyone) Muahaha. Thanks to my new super cool ray gun, your powers will be temporarily gone. Now, let the story begin!

* * *

(screen shows Mulan sitting in a corner of the garden very sad, sighing because she had been rejected by all the men in the country, and several giant pandas. Aww.)

"I am so sad because I have been rejected by every single guy and giant panda! Boohoohoo!" Mulan wailed.

But suddenly, the sound of horses were heard from a distance!

(screen shows general and other soldiers stopping at Mulan's residence and speaking to Mulan's father)

"Please, we require your assistance in the battle against the barbarians who are invading our territory. Will you accept?" the general said in a very feminine voice.

"Yes, I accept" the father said, acting macho.

"NO YOU CAN'T!" A very high pitched girly voice was heard. A green girl with blond hair resembling goldilocks was seen running towards her father.

"Dude you're too old! Your enemies will take one look at you and laugh their head off!" Mulan screeched.

"What? I'm not old! I'm perfectly fit!" her father shouted back.

"Don't act all cool and macho, dude. No one will blame you if you're too old," Mulan replied.

"I'm telling you I'm perfectly fine!"

"No you're not! It's all the meat you've been eating!"

"Meat? What does this have to do with meat?"

"It's bad for you!"

"Yeah, right! That coming from someone who lookd like a constipated Barbie doll! Hey Goldilocks! Where's your three bears?"

And the badly thought out puns continue. Meanwhile, over to the general. She – I mean he, seems to be having fun with mulan's mother, talking and… flirting?

HEY!

"Sorry."

Anyway, to cut a long story short, Mulan dressed up as her father to enlist in the army instead of him. She also cut off her hair and dyed it brown, so now she looked liked sewage water and… never mind.

Nevertheless, she had three companions. They were a horse, a small dragon, and an extra small cricket. Talk about lonely.

Still, Mulan felt confused and doubted whether her plan would work. Fortunately, her good friends were there to give her advice.

"You should turn back," the dragon said in a deep, dark, spooky voice. "Join me, and we will be unstoppable!"

"Err…"

"I disagree. You should go to the campsite as a spy and find out the general's weakness. Then, obliterate her! Muahaha!" the horse cackled.

"Okay…"

"Silence! Mulan, let your conscience be your guide. BURN THE PLACE DOWN! DESTROY EVERYTHING!"

"…"

Thankfully, Mulan had a can of cricket, horse and dragon spray with her.

A few minutes later, Mulan had reached the campsite and had signed in without anyone figuring out who she really was.

* * *

Beastboy: Well duh. I am a guy after all.

Me: Shut up or I'll zap you again.

* * *

Anyway, during the course of the army's training, our heroine had made friends. 3 of them in fact. Shocking, isn't it?

* * *

Beastboy: What's so shocking about me getting–

ZAP

* * *

The 4 of them were inseparable and formed a strong team. Mulan and two of her friends were the attackers, while the 3rd friend acted as their shield! How united the team was!

Even the general had begun to take notice of said group, and felt an unusual attraction to a particular soldier in question.

"You! Boy with the green skin! Your extraordinary fighting skills have made me full of joy! Come, let us now go to defeat the enemies that threaten our home planet!"

"You mean China," Mulan said.

So away they went, toward the Hun army base. However, when they reached there, they found the place littered with the bodies of… the Hun Army?

Billy Numerous: …Yo man, this ain't in the script… (collapses)

"Muahaha! Those fools didn't stand a chance against ME! The most powerful being in the galaxy!"

Hearing the evil cackling, Mulan and the army turned around to see…

Nothing.

"I'M DOWN HERE!

They looked down.

"Foolish mortals. You have come against me unprepared. Prepare to face the wrath of ME! The evil conscience cricket! HAHAHA!"

O.O

"Yes, I see that you are stunned by my presence. I have come for my revenge against the fool, Mulan!"

At the sound of her name, Mulan recovered from her initial shock at seeing said bug and said the first thing that was on her mind.

"Dude. You're a cricket."

And that was all it took for the cricket to begin its furious shouts and yells that included threats, curses, and a whole variety of PG-13 swear words.

A few minutes later, almost everyone had recovered from their shock and was staring at the cricket who was still continuing its ramblings.

Some more minutes passed and everyone had begun to drift away in search of more entertaining things to do. Even the author of this story was beginning to feel bored.

Mulan however, had strolled up to the cricket and-

Hey that's mine!

ZAP

The ramblings stopped, and there was peace and quiet again! Yay!

Everyone crowded around to congratulate Mulan but suddenly, she collapsed from the injury she sustained!

"Ow! I… err… hurt myself firing that ray gun thingy…" Mulan grunted with pain.

"…Wimp," muttered Friend No. 2.

While examining Mulan's wound, she was revealed to have GREEN SKIN!

Oh wait we knew that already.

"You… You are a guy!" gasped the general.

"Err…okay… Isn't that what I'm supposed to be?"

"Not in the all-GIRLS army you're not," said Friend No. 1.

"…" said Friend No. 3.

"I agree! Get him!" Friend No. 2 said with glowing pink eyes.

And thus the story ended. Mulan was beat up by the general, and Friends No. 1 and 2. Friend No. 3 just rolled over him a few times.

THE END.

* * *

Beastboy: That was the most messed up, warped version of a story ever! I mean first of all, what's with the girl army and the bug thing and-

Me: (rolls eyes)

ZAP

Heehee.


	4. Author's Note

HELLO ITS ME AND THIS IS AN ANNOYING AUTHOR'S NOTE. WOOHOO!!

First off I'd like to thank all those wonderful readers who reviewed and even added me to their favourite stories/authors list! Like O.O I'm not that amazing. Haha! Oh yeah and by the way if you read my other story and liked it I'm really sorry to say that it is pretty much discontinued. Unless I get another plot bunny and update it in three years time. HAHA. But we'll see.

Anyway my main purpose of this author's note is to ask for suggestions for the next Disney movie that the titans will act out! I have like school and stuff so I'm pretty much drained and I can't think of much stories now. So it'll be awesome if you guys could tell me what you what to see the titans do (TORTURED MUAHAHA) and maybe even suggest the main character. The main character preferably has to be someone with a personality so that he or she can be more easily tortured. Oops I meant expressed. I think. :D

And by the way I do have 2 stories lined up already so the third chapter isn't a one off thing. I will be removing this author's note when I post the **4TH CHAPTER: SNOW WHITE.**

xD keep checking back for updates and thanks for being fabulous readers! Review yeah?

loves,

ME :D


	5. Snow White

**WOOPS sorry I took so long! I was caught up in schoolwork. Thanks to all devoted readers and reviewers. Here, have a cookie. (:**

**Anyway I personally love this chapter particularly, mainly, and pretty much because of KID FLASH. WOOHOO KID FLASHHHHH.**

**Disclaimer (oh how I missed doing this!): I don't own anything except the cookie I just gave you.**

Chapter 4: Snow White

Snow White: Jinx

Prince: Red X

Evil Queen: Kid Flash

Mirror: Cyborg

Grumpy: Robin

Happy: Raven

Sleepy: Beastboy

Bashful: Cinderblock

Sneezy: Starfire

Dopey: Blackfire

Doc: Aqualad

Poison Apple: Brother Blood

* * *

Jinx: What's the meaning of this? Why am I Snow White?

Me: Erm, because your skin is fair?

Beastboy: Haha! Good one!

(everyone turns and glares at Beastboy)

Kid Flash: Then if Jinx's Snow White, why can't I be the prince? I mean I would do a much better job than Red and-

Red X: Hey man, this is my chance to make my comeback as the handsome prince who saves the damsel in distress, after birdboy over there trashed my last act. (points to Robin)

Robin: (glares at Red) Grumpy? Why am I Grumpy?

Beastboy: Because you're too serious, anti-social and lack a sense of humour?

Robin: (turns and glares at Beastboy)

Beastboy: Oops. Rhetorical question. Gotcha. (runs away)

Blackfire: Dopey? I'm Dopey?

Me: Well, actually-

Aqualad: And shouldn't I be a main character? Being a dwarf… the fans won't be happy and-

Jinx: I don't care, I'm not doing it! You can't make me-

Starfire: Friend Aura, I did not realize I sneezed that much-

Me: Err-

Kid Flash: -and I think that me and Jinx have more chemistry and I mean-

Brother Blood: Why can't I be a pear?

Raven: SHUT UP! All of you!

(everyone's eyes became O.O)

Raven: Just let this author continue with the story so that it will end faster so I can go get some tea, and possibly therapy.

Everyone: …

Kid Flash: You're not very Happy.

Me: …Okay then. Anymore questions?

Cyborg: (raises hand)

Me: Yes, Cyborg?

Cyborg: Yo why is Cinderblock here? Man he can't talk.

Me: Yes he can. In my stories many things are possible. (laughs evily)

Cinderblock: …

Kid Flash: Guess he hasn't figured it out yet.

* * *

The story begins with our heroine, Snow White and her dwarf friends, who live in a cottage in the woods. Everyday, when the dwarfs went to work in the mines (singing their signature dwarf song off-key), she cleaned the cottage and gathered fruits and prepared food for the dwarfs when they came back. Yes, she had no social life.

* * *

Beastboy: Sounds like someone I know.

Robin: (glares)

Beastboy: Err… Not you! I mean…err…umm…SLADE! (runs away again)

* * *

Meanwhile, on the other side of the kingdom, there lived an evil witch, who was also the queen of the kingdom. She was very very evil, and was completely obsessed with her looks. One day, she decided to ask her magic mirror if she was the most beautiful in the kingdom.

"Hey so who's the hottest in the kingdom?" the queen asked.

* * *

Me: Say the line! Or I'll zap you. (points evil ray gun from last chappy at Kid Flash)

Kid Flash: (gasps) You wouldn't.

Me: Try me. (smirks evily)

* * *

"Mirror, mirror, on the wall. Who's the fairest of them all?" The queen muttered.

"Yo man, I have just the girl." The mirror replied, as an image of Snow White appeared on the mirror.

"Wow she really is fair. And pretty. And she looks so-"

ZAP

"Err I mean NOOOOO! I'm supposed to be the…erm…fairest!" the queen cried out.

So then the evil queen decided to hatch out her evil plan. However, after many months of research and experiments, she could not figure out a way to kill Snow White, probably because she was so dumb.

* * *

Kid Flash: Hey I'm not dumb!

Jinx: Yeah he's not dumb!

Kid Flash: Ohhh… So you do like me. (smirks)

Jinx: Shut up or I'll zap you. (points author's evil ray gun at Kid Flash)

Kid Flash: Hey that's not fair! (pouts)

* * *

The queen was ready to give up. Until one day, a vial of her deadly poison fell and broke, soaking the nearby apple. With quick thinking, she realized she could make Snow White eat the apple, thereby killing her! Yay!

The only drawback, was that the apple began to talk.

"I LIVE! EAT ME EAT ME EAT ME EAT ME EAT ME EAT ME! THEN DIE! MUAHAHA!"

"Dude you're messed up," the queen commented.

"And you're talking to an apple," the mirror commented.

So off the threesome went. The evil queen, the sadistic poisoned apple, and the mirror which was strapped to the donkey they rode on which sadly, could not speak.

"Wait! Why am I coming with you?" The mirror asked. "You don't need me!"

"Yeah, but I need to have someone-or at least something- sane to talk to to maintain my sanity throughout the trip," the queen replied.

"Man why would you need to-"

"DIE! MUAHAHAHA!"

"Oh."

* * *

Jinx: Kid Flash it's too late to try to save your sanity now. It flew out the window when you started wearing spandex.

Kid Flash: Hey! That's so mean. (looks hurt)

* * *

A few hours later, they reached the doorstep of Snow White's home and rang the doorbell. Snow White, in the middle of burning something on the stove, opened the door, not expecting to hear the visitor say…

"Hey there, wanna go out sometime?"

ZAP

"Err I mean, here. Take this, and eat it," the queen said, thrusting the apple into Snow White's hands.

"Do I look like I'm stupid? Why should I eat this when I don't know who the heck you are?" Snow White scoffed.

"But it's good for you," the queen hastily said.

"Nutritious," the mirror added.

"Tastes good too."

"And it's expensive."

"I don't know…" Snow Whitw hesitated.

"Allow me," the apple offered as it began hypnotizing Snow White.

"EAT…ME…"

CHOMP.

A few seconds later, Snow White collapsed to the floor, unconscious. In her hand lay the poisoned apple, with a bite taken out of it.

* * *

Kid Flash: NOOOOOOOOOOO!

ZAP

Kid Flash: JINX! NOOO!

ZAP

Kid Flash: DON'T DIE!

ZAPZAPZAP

Kid Flash: Ow.

Jinx: I'm still alive you idiot!

Kid Flash: Oh.

* * *

Alas, Snow White had been cast into a deep sleep. And when the seven dwarfs returned and saw her in that state, or how they mourned for her.

"Boohoo we're so sad."

…Yeah that's it.

And for no particular reason, they placed her in her bed and put roses all around her. Aww.

And they continued to watch over her until one day, a prince heard of her plight.

"I shall seek out the fair maiden and rescue her, I am undoubtly the world's most handsome and charming prince!" The prince boasted.

* * *

Robin: Yeah and the most egoistic.

* * *

However, once again, before reaching the damsel in distress, he met with an obstacle which was…the queen!

Wait WHAT?

"That's right. I beat you to it man. I am faster, after all," the queen smirked.

"Haha very funny. You won't be laughing when I send you flying to the other side of the world," the prince replied.

"Sure, I will. I'll also be laughing on the way back from the other side of the world."

"…This means war."

And so the battle began, between the prince and the queen for the right to rescue Snow White. But for our sanity's sake, let's pretend the queen is preventing the prince from rescuing Snow White not because she wants to rescue her herself.

This is so stupid.

With all the commotion outside of the cottage, the dwarves came out to investigate the situation, and to make sure that whoever they were lowered down the noise level because after all, Snow White was asleep.

Wow they are stupid.

It didn't take very long, for the dwarves to realize the situation and join the battle.

So in this corner! The member's of the prince's team are Bashful (Cinderblock), Dopey (Blackfire), and Doc (Aqualad)!

And over on the other corner! In the queen's team are, Grumpy (Robin), Happy (Raven), Sneezy (Starfire), and Sleepy (Beastboy)!

Dingding.

And they began battling. Not for any good or logical reason, but rather because of this author's writer's block.

Two minutes and fifty-two seconds later, the battle was over, and the team that emerged victorious was…the queen's team! Woohoo!

And so, after the prince was defeated, no one ever rescued Snow White from her deep slumber and she slept forever, under the watchful eye of the queen.

THE END.

* * *

Jinx: …You are seriously not ending the story like this.

Me: Why not? It's romantic.

Kid Flash: But why can't I do more than watch her sleep?

Raven: At least it's over. Tea.

Aqualad: Hey but I had no lines at all! Where is my agent! I need a lawyer! I demand for better lines and roles.

Red X: Yeah I didn't get the kiss the babe again.

Jinx: That's a good thing.

Brother Blood: I still think I would have been better as a pear.

Me: Hey but-

Cinderblock: …Whoa.

Everyone: O.O

Cinderblock: I finally figured out how to use this thing.

…

Kid Flash: So Jinx wanna go out sometime?

Jinx: Sure.

Everyone: (dies from shock)


	6. The Little Mermaid

***EDITED* (Thanks to FrivolousFlare for the correction haha!)**

**OH HEYYY DIDN'T SEE YOU THAR ;)**

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Yeah.**

Chapter 6: The Little Mermaid

Characters:

Ariel: Terra

Prince Eric: Cinderblock

King Triton: Slade

Trident: Kid Flash

Sebastian: Beastboy

Flounder: Raven

Ariel's sister: Robin

Ursula: Starfire

King: Control Freak

Queen: Seymour

* * *

Terra: Oh golly, wow! I'm Ariel! This is so... unexpected!

Robin: …Are you crying?

Terra: No. Starfire's just blinding me with her laser eyes.

Starfire: Lalala sparkle sparkle lalala

Raven: Hmm. Should really get her tested.

Aqualad: Wait a second! Why am I not in this story? I'm Aqualad, for crying out loud! I was literally born for a role in an underwater film!

Kid Flash: Well, I don't really want to be a glowing golden stick. Plus I think Slade has sweaty palms.

Slade: Muahaha.

Terra: Well, I think-

Robin: I'm playing a woman character again! I'm telling you, I get the worst roles.

Raven: …I'm a fish.

Beastboy: I'm a singing crab.

Starfire: An evil octopus woman yay!

Robin: Okay scratch that. Where is our dear author anyway?

_You have reached the office of this author, who is currently away because she has a life and cannot receive your call. Please leave a message after the beep. Unless, of course, you are a teen titan currently victim to one of her devious storylines. In that case, please don't. Seriously. My evil awesome ray gun is recharging right now, so I'll only be back next chapter. Have fun!_

…

BEEP

Beastboy: Wow! Who knew voice messages could last so long!

* * *

Once upon a time, there was a beauuuteeefuul girl named Ariel. She was really pretty and all, you know. Yeah. She was also a mermaid. Had a real fin and everything.

However, this mermaid was not very bright. You see, because of the exorbitant amount of time she spent under the water, plus the hours under the sun, Ariel's happy, sparkly hair turned blond. Also, her brain was pretty much fried.'

"Lalalalalalalalala I love to singgggg! Even though I'm underwater and could chok-" COUGH COUGH COUGH

See? Mermaids.

One fine, glorious day, Ariel ventured out of the water to see the surface world. And it was shocking!

"There's no water up here! I can talk without choking!" She looked down. "I have a fin?"

The commotion caused by Ariel's startling 'revelations' had attracted attention from a passerby ship. The captain of the ship was so horrified at the sight of such a creature that he panicked and crashed the ship! Within seconds, the entire boat had sunk deep below the surface, while Ariel was still figuring out why she couldn't pick up water.

"Oh I see, it just flows right through- OH MY GOODNESS!" Ariel turned to see the capsized ship with numerous passengers screaming for help. "Don't worry, giant drowning fish, I shall save you!'

She heroically swam over and immediately spotted a soon to be sinking gentleman by the side.

"Help me! I can't swim! Please help, I'm made of rock for crying out loud!" The prince cried out before going under.

With all her strength and innate mermaid awesomeness, Ariel hoisted the prince up and brought him to dry land safely. Unfortunately her attempt had drained her energy dry and she couldn't help anyone else. Which kind of sucks. Hmm. Let's see, the rest of them grew wings and flew out of the water!

What? It's my story.

"Thank you for saving me!" The prince sputtered out gratefully. "OH MY GAWD YOU HAVE A FISHTAIL!" He then fainted dramatically.

"Meh," said Ariel, and abandoned the prince there.

However, that wasn't the last Ariel saw of him. Over the next few days, he was the only thing that occupied her thoughts, which is an amazing feat given her limited memory capacity and insanely short attention span.

One day, Ariel's sister, who has no name because she's just a side character, really, came up to her.

"Hey." Ariel's sister said hey. To Ariel.

"I JUST MISS HIM SO MUCH, YOU KNOW?"

"I bet that evil octowoman whose name I can't remember can help. She's a witch. A sea witch. That makes her awesomer than land witches because you can't burn sea witches on a stake underwater."

"You are like, so smart! I wish I was as smart as you," Ariel sighed. "KTHXBYE!" She disappeared in a flash.

"I wish I was a sea witch," Ariel's sister pointlessly said.

Swimming madly fast, Ariel reached the dark, deep cavern where the sea witch, Ursula, dwelled.

"HI!" Ariel screamed.

"HI BACK! You're here! I knew you'd come! Oh glorious day!" Ursula happily spun her eight tentacles.

"Oh my unimportant sister was right! You are helpful! I trust you already." Ariel floated down beside Ursula. "Can you do a reading for me? What will happen between the giant fish I rescued and me?"

"Umm… I'm sorry, I'm not Paul the Octopus. But! I can tell you something. That giant fish you rescued is not a fish, but a man!" The sea witch revealed.

"Really? Oh, now this is just wrong."

"I can help!" Ursula pushed a pink, bubbling potion into Ariel's hands. "This will make you fully human for a while and allow you to meet the prince. Aww, how sweet!"

"Wow, really? No charge?" Ariel asked stupidly. Sigh.

"That's righ- oh wait." Ursula fumbled through a set of papers. "The script says, and I quote,_ I have to take your voice_."

"But why? How will people hear me then?" Ariel asked, horrified.

"_Tell her it's the price required and also because she needs to stop talking, when you are actually insidiously plotting to take over the entire ocean world._"

"Oh I see! I only heard the first half of that, but that seems credible enough to me!" Ariel gulped down the potion. And then she started choking for real because her fins had turned into legs! Flaying her arms and legs about, Ariel struggled out of the cavern to the surface, all the while suffocating.

"Bye!" The sea witch said.

Ariel burst to the surface, but she had breathed in too much water and was unconscious. She also couldn't speak anymore, which was a really, really good thing. Fortunately for her, the prince whom she had saved was taking a stroll on that very beach!

THUMP THUMP THUMP

Prince Eric stomped heavily over to the half-dead Ariel, causing some mini-tsunamis in the process. "It's you!" He gasped. "You have feet! Oh thank goodness, I knew it was the three martinis I drank on board. There are no such things as mermaids."

Somewhere in the deep blue ocean, a mermaid dropped dead.

Haha, just kidding.

"I shall rescue you, my fair maiden!" The prince announced loudly and carried Ariel off on his shoulder.

"Yo ho, yo ho, a pirate's life for me. Look Ma, see what I've found!" Prince Eric excitedly showed the queen Ariel. "I just found her like this, lying on the beach!"

"Sure you did," the queen said, winking.

"…That's called kidnapping!" The king pointed his royal finger at Prince Eric. "I should have thought of that, dang it."

"No really! She was out cold when I found her! Can we keep her, can we can we please?" The prince begged his parents.

"Well, only if you promise to take care of her! Pretend she's a lost princess or something," the king muttered.

"Okay," the prince happily said and left to get Ariel settled.

"Eye spy with my big 'ol eye, something-"

The queen was abruptly banished from the kingdom because I Spy jokes were so last last last last last last last last last year.

Meanwhile, back in the waters, a certain red crustacean and talking fish had seen everything. And boy were they distressed! Their beloved princess Ariel! A blonde!

I mean- human! And with a human prince no less. The atrocity, indeed.

"I'd give it a week," Flounder said boredly.

"Well I would bet my right claw! That she'll only stay a day. Really, she'll probably attack a mirror or try to eat the prince. He's made of rock, so that won't be a very appetizing meal." Sebastian shrugged. "We should really tell King Triton. He would want to know."

"Mmm kay. Whatevs. I'm swimming in my own pee. Swim swim swim."

So off they went to inform King Triton, who wasn't really happy at the moment.

"This skirt just doesn't fit right! What kind of designer are you!" King Triton angrily shouted. "Plus my trident is missing again! And the seaweed won't stop laughing at me!" He curled up into a ball and started crying.

"Now I'm swimming in tears, swim swim swim."

"Err… King Triton, sir? Your daughter is missing," Sebastian murmured quietly.

"WHAT? My insignificant unnamed daughter is gone?" King Triton exclaimed.

"No, the other one." Sebastian said.

"Oh." King Triton replied. "Okay."

Back at the castle, Ariel was too busy to worry about her family and friends back home. She had an entire new world to discover! She learned on the first day that it was rude to slither around in the hallways. She discovered on the second day, that the king and queen really weren't giant fish. On the third day, she realized she had feet!

The potion worked, she thought, because she had lost her voice, remember? Ariel was beside herself. Well, not really, that would be weird.

The prince had not yet come to terms with his sudden, strange guest though. She didn't say a word to him at all, and even after he removed all mirrors from the castle she never stopped looking for her evil twin.

"Wait a minute!" He suddenly exclaimed. "You can't talk, you're blonde, are you a Barbie? Oh my gosh, thank you Santa!"

Ecstatic, Prince Eric made arrangements for their marriage immediately. Little did he know, an insidious plot was unfolding deep within the ocean.

"More tea?" Ursula the sea witch offered.

"Thank you! You know, you're a really nice sea witch. Everyone should learn from you," the trident said, grateful.

As strange as it seemed, said trident was there for a perfectly rational reason. It was the drinking tea that was odd. Underwater, hello?

Anyway, because of the underwater king's flagrant disregard for the trident and all matters logical, the trident had escaped from the castle (again) to find a better owner. And finally, he had found the sea witch!

"So here are directions to the castle. You'll a need a disguise so get a cloak or something. Or be a coat hanger, I hear they have those."

What?

"OH! I mean, you don't really want Princess Ariel as your new ruler," Ursula hastily said. "She's a complete airhead. And she's marrying the prince with rocks for brains. Haha! That's funny."

"That's true. But that means I'll have to return to the king!" Again. "Again!" The trident wailed.

"Well, I could be queen, if you want."

"Hmm. Do you have sweaty palms?" The trident queried.

"No I do not." The sea witch beamed.

"THEN IT'S SETTLED!"

And it was. From that moment on, the sea witch ruled the seven seas. And even though Ursula did have a craving for sailors and icebergs once in a while, it was a relatively peace time for all ocean folk. As for Princess Ariel, she eventually became Queen Ariel, ruler of what became the dumbest and most simple-minded kingdom of all time. What a great ending!

THE END.

* * *

**TADAAA well that was a great fun to write! Review! ****Thanks for reading! You guys are awesome (:**


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